Warnings:Angst and hardcore aminalistic sex
Notes:This is an interlude in my series I am begining to believe should be called "The neverending PWP"
As the Dawn Breaks the Night... Interlude Part 1
This is a direct carry on from my As the dawn breaks the night… interlude.
I have never needed anyone in my life, I have loved and left, lusted and left, but never needed and kept… Until now.
My eyes are raw and stinging, my heart raw and bleeding and yet his arms remain around me, no words, just his support and dare I say it… love.
His words sliced deep, hurting me, but eventually are cathartic as my pain seeped out through those metaphoric wounds and finally cauterised the hole in my life. There is much that I want out of this everlasting life I have and maybe there is only one thing that I really need. Someone to know who I am, what I am and where I am in this life… and more importantly, to have them not care on the answers, but still is there for me regardless.
Dare I hope that one need may now be close to being filled?
His arms are still around me soundlessly saying that he is there for me, but I know I still have to prove myself to him. He is a strong man this Ianto Jones and hopefully he is strong enough to support me.
Looking up he still wears a blank mask, but his eyes are telling me what his voice does not.
“I asked you before Ianto, what do you want from this, from us and I know that I was unfair in how I asked, so let me answer first.” My voice is raw and ragged, it is an externalisation of the bleeding mess my insides are and I know it is going to take some time to even start patching these wounds.
“Ianto, what I need is someone to hold me at night, someone to let me know it is alright to fuck up, someone to kick my arse for me when I need it and every so often I need someone to take control and make decisions for me, to allow me to let go and allow me to really trust someone. Ianto that is what I need.”
I can see in his eyes that he thinks I am being selfish again. I have to nip this in the bud.
“But what I want is you Ianto, I want you to be the one I turn to for solace when things go wrong, I want you to be the one to tell me things will be okay, I want you to be the one who kicks me in the arse when I need it, but most important Ianto, I want you to be the one I trust above everyone else.”
“I don’t know what else to say Ianto and I know words are only that, words…” I can’t continue, to broken up. This is me Captain Jack Harkness, stripped bare and deconstructed.
I can only let my face and my hand finish my plea as I turn into his shoulder and rest my hand gently along his jaw. I am spent, no more to say. All I can do is wait for the verdict.
All there is to be heard is a slight hitch in his breathing, no other sound can be heard, but I receive my answer anyway. A solitary tear makes its way down his cheek and onto the hand I caress him with. It is not everything, but it is enough for now. I know he cares, he may even love me, but Ianto being Ianto, manages to surprise me yet again.
“I do love you Jack and that gives you all the power over me, until now I could never really trust you and to be honest I still can’t fully. That takes time and effort, I have the time but do you have the effort?”
Looking back up into his red rimmed eyes I read the truth of his statement so I answer the in kind. I let all my fears and all my hopes for us show through my eyes. It is still not quite enough as I see the lingering strains of doubt still clouding his vision.
“I am falling in love you Ianto, a little more each day, a little harder each day. With you I can feel free, with you I am cherished, with you I am whole.”
Trembling I stand and lower my face to his.
“Please.” It is more breathed than spoken, more wished than stated, but it is enough.
Ianto raises his lips to mine and breathes against them “Always.” Our lips meet and it is the beginning of time, the end of days and everything else in between.
I gasp as he parts my lips with his tongue, his teeth gently nibbling on my lower lip. Moving his head slightly lower his teeth rasp against the stubble on my chin and even further down his lips move against my throat as I arch my head back in submission. The growl he emits goes down through me till it curls around my groin and tightens its hold on me.
My answering moan is guttural, wrenched from deep within me as he stakes his claim on me. I feel him mark my neck, the slight pain of it combining with his need to possess, it is no child’s hickey, he is claiming me for all to see. His hands grow more insistent and demanding as they fumble with my shirt buttons, to gone to even care he rents the cloth asunder and begins his attack on my chest.
I need to touch him, to feel him against me, but am powerless to actualise it. His teeth are biting harder now and it is all I can do to remain aware and not lose myself in the sensation; it is too soon yet to do so. He will let me know when I can.
He goes from laving one nipple to twisting to biting and back again, it is impossible to predict his movements and I quickly give up trying to. The raw need that possess’ both of us has taken rational though away and left only primal need, the need to possess and be possessed. I can no longer remain completely passive as my hands tear at his shirt, scrabbling for purchase on the smooth cotton. Reaching around to his back I try rent the garment from his body. Finally I manage to break the seam from the yoke and back panel and that is all I need as I tear the offending layer away. Feeling his smooth skin beneath my hands is a wonder to me as I tear the away the front of the shirt, growling as the sleeves refuse to budge and pulling harder on them each in turn until only his sleeves remain intact on his body, the rest of the shirt lies at our feet, a shredded wreck.
No longer content with just my chest I feel myself turned around so my back is against his chest. I can feel his trapped cock, hard against my arse. One hand moving down towards my belt, the other clawing my chest as his nails mark me as indelibly as his mouth earlier had.
His grunts have taken on a primitive quality as all though processes cease and only mindless rutting remains. He is an animal and I am his mate. His hands finally free my belt and I feel the wrench as he tries to yank down my pants without undoing them, to him it matters not, to me it matters even less.
With my pants barely down to my mid thigh, the hand that was trying to undo my belt now works on his own, frantically scrambling at the clasp and buttons he thrusts his pants down and grinds his cock hard against my arse.
I am moaning now, all I want him to do is fuck me, to take me as his. His teeth find their way to my shoulder as he clamps down hard, just below my collar bone. All I can do is roar and grind my arse back onto his cock with renewed fervour.
“Take me, fuck me, own me.” It is all I can manage, the pain of the bite, the sting of the scratches, my own need to be taken, it is all consuming as I lean forward and reach back to spread my arse cheeks wide for him.
“Fuck me, please Ianto, fuck me hard, plough your cock deep in my hole with one thrust and make me feel it, make me feel.”
Whether he heard me and understood or I just got lucky as his cock hits my arse and catches. With a cry I thrust back and at the same time he growls and thrust forwards. Holy fuck, it hurts so much, there was still some of the analgesic gel left from earlier today, but not quite enough to ease his entrance. I start to fly as he mercilessly fucks my arse, not caring for my pleasure, but his own.
I feel it as I start to come, I am outside of my body, watching him attack my hole as my balls draw tight and I start to scream out all of the pain, misery and loneliness I have ever felt in my life. Watching myself shudder as each spurt lands further than the last, watching at the look on Ianto’s face, feeling my arse clenching so tightly around his cock until he himself lets out a roar of conquest, of possession, of ownership as he empties himself inside me. No longer able to stand, my legs collapse under us, taking myself and Ianto down. Tears run down my face and I feel free for the first time in my life.
I hear muffled sobbing from behind me as Ianto cries out his fear and loneliness and I know now, that as much as I need Ianto, he needs me just as much. Barely able to more around I take Ianto’s face in my hands and for the first time in my life say the words like I really feel them.
“I love you to Ianto, here, now, tomorrow and forever, I am yours.”